Green Girl
by LittleBunnyFooFooMUST-DIE
Summary: Calliope has never seen the outside world and has been stuck living with her obnoxious brother for as long as she can remember. Then one day a gorgeous woman and bad-tempered man show up and make Calliope's dream come true- high school! Even with a disguise to hide her unsightly mutation Calliope can't fit in, though maybe a certain drunk could help. Calliope x Roxy
1. Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER: Do I look like a Hussie-Lipped Satan-Horse to you? Picture by DasWiener on deviantart until I get off my lazy butt and draw something.

I'm posting this with a few other stories and whichever one gets the biggest response is the one that gets continued first. Enjoy!

I'm just a green-skinned girl with some sort of freaky mutation that's just trying to make it through life with my ass of a brother. He's a complete asshole, and I usually try to not be judgmental and find the best in people. Seriously, who wants to kill their sister?

Parents? Long gone. I don't have the vaguest memory of them. I don't even remember who raised us or taught us to walk and talk. Sometimes I think we were just left here to figure it out ourselves.

Where's here? I still have no clue. My brother Caliborn and I have lived in this...I don't know...bunker? For years and we haven't been able to leave until now.

The only connection we've had to the outside world was the internet, but for all we know we could've been on Mars.

We've survived somehow, well I did at least. I have no clue what Caliborn's been doing besides reblogging pictures of cats, ordering really stupid stuff in the mail, and of course, plotting my demise.

The mail came once a month and I learned early on that if there's an unknown crate, do not under _any_ circumstances open it. Never. I almost lost a leg that way and haven't been fond of large green snakes ever since.

Somehow we were supplied with everything we needed; food, clothes, deodorant (thankfully), you name it. I always had a pile of Mike and Ikes and my drawing supplies so I had been content. Until recently.

I had discovered this thing called "shojo" by accident, and I became completely obsessed with it. I started reading it, and drawing it, and then I became obsessed with the idea of a rose petal prince who would come save me from the hell Caliborn put me through. Little did I know that my prince would come, and that they would be absolutely nothing like I expected.

Last week the mail came early. It's usually delivered on the last Sunday of each month through the strange one way mail box/grate thing we have, but it was a Friday. I was excited because I thought that my new copic markers had come in, but it was only a letter addressed to my brother and I. That in itself was a big deal because we had never received any type of letter had stolen it the second it fell through onto the floor and tore it open. Thankfully, he was in a "nice" enough mood to read it aloud.

"Dear Caliborn and Calliope- Ha! My name was first! Blah blah blah. Boring shit. Blah. Hey! People are coming here today! Real fucking people!"

I stared at him blankly, not comprehending at first. "Please leave your guns in the closet." He, unsurprisingly, ignored me and ran off to his room with a glint in his eye, talking rapidly. I only heard Typhus and nitric acid, so I had reason to be scared.

That morning I freaked out more than I ever had in my entire life, which is saying something when you live with Caliborn. I had learned about a race called "Humans" through the internet, which I couldn't have been sure about because the "News" website I stumbled across was blocked the next day.

From what I gathered from the limited articles I could find on them, they are the predominate species on a planet called "Earth." Their skin colors cover a wide range of the spectrum, but none of them have green skin like me. Most of them have hair too, except for some of the men. Sometimes I think that I'm one of them, just with and odd skin condition. Sometimes I think that I'm completely alien. Either way I know that I would never be able to fit into human society.

I spent the entire morning in a rush, putting on my best green skirt and blazer. I didn't know if shoes were something that people normally wore, but I could never find anything that fit my feet so the decision was already made for me and I decided to go without.

Caliborn had never let me read the letter itself so I wasn't sure what to expect. It definitely wasn't the harsh banging on the door around noon. It was followed by some light tapping and I froze then ran to the front of our living space where there was a circular door in the ceiling.

"Are you fucking morons? Obviously we can't open the door or else I would've blown this shitty popsicle joint ages ago!"

I got there right when the door swung open and a woman dropped down, landing numbly and bypassing the ladder attached to the wall. "Call me Snowman," she said elegantly extending a hand. Before I could even begin to wonder about her name a man dramatically fell from the ceiling.

Literally, he dropped over the edge and fell to a heap on the ground. The man let out a string of curses then pulled himself off the found. It was hard to judge his size because the only person I could compare him to was Caliborn and I always tried to avoid him if I could help it.

My eyes went immediately back to the woman "Snowman." It was as if her presence demanded all the attention in the room. Her beauty was striking and her posture was impeccable. I had spent long hours staring at the models on my computer screen and she certainly could've been one of them. Snowman had even mocha skin and was tall and slim with just enough curves. She wore a black glittering trench coat and hat combo that should've been tacky, but she managed to pull it off.

Her dark hair was curled (naturally?) and bounced at her shoulders. She had deep green eyes and seemed to glow, not literally though. Snowman radiated self confidence and authority. I knew from that moment that I wanted to be like her. My appearance was something I was always self conscious about. I always knew deep down that I was a freak because I had never been able to find someone that looked like me. Except for Caliborn. So I tried to make myself look like them. After many failed results of wigs and body paint, I finally gave up.

While I stared at her and my inner monologue ran wild, my brother attacked the unnamed man. He went to punch him with his gun, but got a knife to the thigh in return. CAliborn, being the dramatic idiot that he was, dropped to the floor rolling in mostly faked agony. I couldn't contain my laughter and ended up sniggering behind my hand. I always found it amusing when Caliborn tried to throw bullets at me or clock me over the head with a pistol. I probably would've been shot dead long ago if I showed him how to do it.

"Spades Slick an' I don't want you callin' me nothin'," the man's gruff voice brought my attention back to him. He was larger than Caliborn and didn't look like anything special. He had paler skin than Snowman and some scraggly stubble on his chin. Slick wore all black with a bowler hat and kept shooting glances at snowman. I couldn't tell what kind they were though. It looked like he simultaneously wanted to kiss her and stab her. The only interesting thing about him was a scar that ran across his face and an eyepatch , more mobster than pirate.

Snowman rolled her eyes and put a hand on her hip, then turned to Caliborn and I. "You two are going to high school."


	2. Chapter 2

I was almost shocked to the point of heart palpations for the second time that day and it wasn't even noon yet. First people, real people show up. Then I learn that I get to go to real life high school. Can you believe it?

All the questions I had spent hours formulating and perfecting disappeared Just like that. Whooosh. What were we? Why were we stuck there? _Who _were we? None of that mattered because my brain was caught on the idea of socializing with real life teenagers and stuck there. It may have seemed a bit silly of me, to be that obsessed, but that was the one thing I held on to for all of my years in captivity with my monster of a brother. High school was this magical place and I would be popular and surrounded by friends and I would find my prince. You can only imagine what a reality check I got.

I heard Caliborn's pained voice as he got to his feet. "What the ever-loving fuck is this. "High school." You speak of?"

His stupid question helped me find my voice and I turned to the two adults in the room, "Oh, oh my. Really?"

Slick turned towards me and said, "No, we're just pretending that you have to go to that shit hole, of course you're going to school!" In that moment the resemblance between him and Caliborn was striking. So striking I almost lost my breath because one Caliborn is bad enough on his own and I couldn't even begin to imagine what two of them would do together.

Half an hour later we were all sitting upstairs, I didn't even know there was an upstairs! Caliborn and I had been living underneath a beautiful sprawling mansion the entire time. The only problem was that everything was green, and when I say everything I really do mean _everything. _It was extremely tacky and a bit of an eyesore.

"You two will need disguises to go out into public. Your appearances are..." and then Snowman sealed my fate with just one word: "Abnormal." Throughout the rest of the visit of the two strange people my mind was stuck on that one word. I was abnormal. I wasn't pretty, or cute, or even decent looking. I was just abnormal and there was nothing I could do to change it. Just that one little word confirmed my worst suspicions.

My mood was lifted a little when we got our make-overs. It was so that we would look human, which meant that I didn't look human, but I was still excited by the promise of wigs and make-up. A smaller plump woman with a blonde bob and a pastel dress had walked in smiling, toting a large metal suitcase full of God-knows-what behind her. She pulled me away first to a surprisingly green drawing room. "You can just call me Ms. Paint and I'll get you looking like the sweet thing you are." Ms. Paint had a slight twang that I recognized as a British accent from the Harry Potter series. She seemed like the Southern Belle type.

Where Snowman had an aura that demanded respect and a bit of fear, Ms. Paint was warmth and smiles. I decided that I liked her too. "I'm sorry that you can't go out like you are," she said as she had me sit down in one of the plush chairs that she drew a stool up to, "but people aren't that accepting."

"Oh, it's okay. I think I'd stand out even if I wasn't green," I said and she smiled back at me.

"Have you given any thoughts to what you want yourself to look like? I have a variety of wigs and skin tone creams. Disguises are my thing, besides cooking and patching people up."

I thought for a moment, then produced a picture from my pocket that I had stashed in there early. It was one of those wishful three in the morning pictures I've drawn when I'm down and I vent through my artwork. It was what I wanted to look like as a human. The girl was definitely prettier than what I would look like though.

"Very nice choice," Ms. paint complimented me.

Some amount of time later I was properly instructed in how to evenly coat myself in the mocha colored cream. I already knew it would be a pain. It felt strangely thick on my skin and I was already worried about it getting rubbed off or accidentally missing a spot in the morning.

"You'll have to be especially careful with your hands. I think we'll pick you out a nice pair of gloves later when we go shopping. Gym class is also obviously a no and you'll be excused from that. Now let's find you a wig to match this excellently drawn picture."

"I'm going shopping? Out in public?" I asked as the woman sorted through the various drawers and compartments of her case-o-disguises.

"Yes, we're taking a trip to the mall for a new wardrobe. Your school has a dress code, but it is very lenient," she had a pair of scissors in her hand was talking as she was snipping away at a wig she picked out.

Then she placed it on my hand and adjusted it, brushing the bangs out of my face with her free hand. "Gorgeous." She pulled out a hand mirror and a make-up case. Ms. Paint brushed some setting powder onto my face and neck and applied some light make-up. "Now which lipstick would you like?"

I bit my lip as I contemplated my options, the light pink seemed like the most normal and safe option, but the green was very tempting. It would probably turn the most heads, and in a bad way. I decided that I wanted to be able to fit in a little at least so I ended up with a sophisticated black. Well, I thought it was sophisticated and Ms. Paint didn't show any sort of reaction besides the usual content smile on her face as she helped me apply a few coats so it was an even darkness.

When I looked in the mirror, I was surprised. I looked like I could pass for a mostly normal teenage girl, and a nice looking one at that. The wig itched a little on my bare scalp, but it looked and felt real and that was what mattered. My new appearance gave me a strange sense of confidence. Like I could tackle any problem life threw at me. "I've ordered make up and such before but I could never get myself to look as pretty as you did," I sheepishly admitted. "Thank you. Thank you so so so so much. I can not even begin to express-"

"Calliope, hush. You are beautiful and don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise. Even with your green skin. You deserve to feel beautiful, like everyone does." She kissed me on my cheek. "Maybe we'll meet again someday."

"What?" My brain froze. "You're not coming back?" That was unimaginable, even though we spent only an hour together at the most. I thought I had found a motherly figure and I was nowhere ready to let go.

Ms. Paint thought for a moment then leaned in towards me whispering, "Can I tell you a secret?" I nodded my head carefully so the wig wouldn't slip and I leaned in too. "That man out there is my fiance."

I must have looked very surprised with my jaw hanging near the ground because she laughed, then went on to explain. "He's actually a sweetie once you get to know him and get past his prickly outside. He cares so much he's overbearing at times. We're running away together tonight because our mission is over- whoops! I bet I wasn't supposed to say that! Oh well. Hopefully one day you'll understand this all. Just remember the Midnight Crew. Now go get your brother and I'll see what I can do with him."

"Be careful," I said, "he's an ass."

"Don't worry, I never go anywhere without my knife anymore."

I paused at the door, smiling at her for the last time. "Goodbye Ms. Paint, and good luck in becoming Mrs. Slick."

"I'm coming to the mall with you later. Snowman wouldn't know fashion even if teen vogue bit her on the butt. You can't get rid of me that easily. Bye Calliope!"

After retrieving my once again complaining brother and pointing him in the right direction, I found myself in the main parlor with Snowman, Slick-the-fiance, and a group of strange looking men in color-coded hats.

"These men work here and have various jobs. Don't be afraid them to ask them for anything. They'll also serve as bodyguards," Snowman explained gesturing to them. Then each of them introduced themselves. The long process was made even longer when on of them forgot their own name.

"And I am Doc Scratch, which is what I would prefer you refer to me by." I looked around for the source of the voice and I saw that there was a small man I didn't notice before. He was short and dressed in a white dapper tuxedo.

"Oh, I didn't see you there, hello," I extended my hand politely.

I assume that he wasn't amused by my accidental jab at his short stature, but it was hard to tell because of a white globe encasing his head. I decided it was better not to ask. It's always better not to ask. That useful tip was learned over my years living with Caliborn.

Doc Scratch shook my hand. "I will be your caretaker, for now, and also your legal guardian. You probably have many questions, as your brother did, but I do ask that you do not throw a fit as he did. They will all be answered in due time. Now, when Caliborn is done threatening the lovely Ms. Paint we will be on our way."

I sat waiting and inspecting the faces of the strange hatted men until Caliborn came out. He walked out of the hallway slouching, with a mop of black hair in his face and skin so pale you could've mistook him for a cadaver. He basically looked like the polar opposite of me, which I knew he did on purpose. Lovely.

The mall trip was quite interesting and quite overwhelming. I pictured it being fun and exciting, filled with social interaction, but the most we got were the stares of passerby's. I do admit, we weren't the most normal of groups there. I also had to say my goodbyes to Ms. Paint and she slipped me an envelope, which I wasn't allowed to open until "the time was right." It was the sort of cryptic exchange that only happened in books and I hoped that I had enough willpower to not rip it open the second I was alone.

That night I sat in my bedroom after having dinner at the way too long dining room table and sighed. I was physically tired, and mentally tired too, but I knew that sleep would not come. My wig was placed on it's stand and my make up was washed off. My outfit for the next day was hanging on the closet. It was a green tailcoat jacket with a red bow tie over a black tank top and skirt. Hopefully I wouldn't do too much sweating with it, I wouldn't want my fake skin to run.

Caliborn and I moved into furnished rooms in the main part of the house, no more secret hide-away bunker for us. I can't say I exactly missed it. It would be strange sleeping in a new room, but I was filled with excitement. The next day would be my first day of high school, the first day of my Freshman year, and the first day of the drama to come.

AN: A new chapter! Finally! I'm sorry there's no Roxy yet, but just wait! There will also be some Dirk x Caliborn and you guys can suggest any ships you would like to see~


	3. Chapter 3

Most people can't sleep the night before their first day of high school. They're too excited to be rejoined with friends, and they get those nervous jitters. They're eager for a fresh start, to embrace their new image. I thought I would have been placed in the latter category with the rest of the temporary insomniacs, but I slept like a baby.

I awoke early the next morning to shower, then begin the tedious process of looking like a normal teenage girl. First it was the layers of creams and foundations, then my lipstick and carefully combed wig. I dressed in my version of the uniform; a pleated skirt and blazer with my green bow tie and plain kid gloves.

When I walked into the kitchen to grab a bowl of the sugariest cereals I could find, I knew Caliborn was in one of his nasty moods already. He was grumbling to himself between sips of coffee and tugging on his red tie and suspenders. From past experience I knew it would be best to avoid eye contact, but I couldn't help myself from stealing glances at his streaky make-up. I knew that he would surely drag me down with him if his cover was blown.

"What are you looking at, whore?"

"Your hideously done make-up."

He stood up and slammed his mug on the table. "It only sucks because make-up is for fucking girls and fucking sissies! Only idiots like you with no life wear these stupid ass shitty no good fucking head rugs! None of this is worth my goddamn time! I am a god to the human species and should be treated as such!" he screeched.

I rubbed at my temples, it was way too early in the morning to deal with his shit. I had two options. One, I could let him destroy all of my chances at having a normal, fun high school experience and sit back and cry like I usually do. Or two, I could grow a pair and make him suck it up and deal with it. "Do we have any tranquilizers?"

We did in fact have tranquilizers, and that was the only reason we made it to school on time.

Snowman thankfully redid his make-up in the limo while he was passed out. I made sure that she added some red spots too. Then, we were there.

The school was impressive, as were most private schools. It soared four stories high and had three separate buildings, not including the state of the art gymnasium.

The first student I came across, besides a group of boys playing football on the front lawn, was a blonde girl who was sleeping on a chair in the office. She had a few light pink streaks in her hair and looked like she had no regard for the dress code because of her barely-there-skirt and a sloppy button down.

How interesting.

We had a short meeting with the principal where we went over the rules and expectations of the school. Actually, he gushed over us repeating how honored he was that we chose to go there.

It involved the phrase "Lord English" repeated exuberantly. Neither Caliborn or I had been told about him and snowman looked irked to the point in which I was surprised she didn't pull a knife on him.

Caliborn and I received our schedules, but sadly no maps so that "the safety of our school isn't comprised."

Instead the principal walked over to the snoozing blonde and woke her up saying, "If you show this new young lady around the school I'll give you a pass to the teachers lounge so you don't have to hack the school's dtabase again."

She was up in a moment saluting him. It made quite the amusing sight with her sloppily made up uniform and post sleep stupor. "Roxy Lalonde, at your surface-er service!"

"Ah, hello. I am Calliope and it is a pleasure to meet you," I managed to say blushing slightly.

And that is how it all began.

A/N I am so sorry, but school is kicking my ass major time. Here's a little update to hold you over! ((I just checked my e-mail and thank you so much for all the reviews, faves, etc.! *bops all the precious readers on the nose*))


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